Warning: Awareness is Deadly to Egos

My journey of self-awareness began, or shall I say my pain threshold was reached, in 2005. At that time my map of reality included people treating me poorly, feeling disrespected daily, experiences of being let down, and difficult personal relationships. I believed that unpleasant situations “happened to” me, which is now laughable, but at the time very painful. Back then I didn’t know  I had an active hand in creating my life.

That summer I began working with a woman, who by all accounts was eccentric. She was a counselor who had a wide variety of experience and was suffering from severe body ailments and pain. Sometimes her pain was so severe, she’d have to cancel our session time.

Her name was Sandy, and to me, she was one of my guardian angels. She was one of the first people to help me make significant progress in my level of awareness. One of the most helpful tools she gave me was something called EFT, (Emotional Freedom Technique). When she took me through EFT sessions, I could feel. Those sessions with her were some of the first times I ever experienced the physical part of my emotions.

I became more and more aware of where my anger resided within my body. I also learned how many of my stomach issues stemmed from processing anger in my gut. She gave me a CD of Dr. Dyer’s “Power of Intention” and I listened to over and over on my drives to and from work. And though my mind wasn’t ready for all of the information coming up to consciousness yet, I was beginning to chip away at my old, stale map of reality.


I quit my work with Sandy abruptly in 2006, I’m not sure why. Looking back, I probably reached a threshold of self-awareness. My guess is that my ego had all it could handle at the time. I couldn’t see some of my behaviors and honestly, I don’t think my ego wanted to let go of them. I moved on, having an intellectual understanding of love, intention, energy and creation and wanted desperately to apply this understanding in my everyday life.

But the Universe wasn’t done with me. Later that year, I found and bought a book called “Excuse Me, Your Life is Waiting” by Lynn Grabhorn. The book introduced me to the power of feelings and the law of attraction, “like attracts like.” I remember thinking, (how else does an engineer ponder something?), how incredibly simple it sounded. I practically inhaled the book and went looking for more information.

After using some techniques in Lynn’s book, I found Doreen Banazsak’s work. Her work was a follow up to Lynn’s, titled “Excuse Me, Your Life is Now”. Her book stretched the idea of creating our reality from feelings by focusing on accepting our feelings in order to unlock the power of creation.

In other words, she said if we created from the energy we sent out, we should accept what we are feeling. I was happy to find that Doreen was actively coaching people on the power of acceptance and I happily signed up to participate in a creator’s club she was offering. I spent a year of my life working with her and exploring the power of acceptance.

Awareness Sets us Free

What I learned through my experiences with her is what I want to share with you today. I believe we must know where we are in order to get where we want to be. Think about it, if you are humming along, not terribly happy and not in a lot of ‘pain’, you rarely think about what you are feeling. Now if someone upsets you, you have an experience of pain and can describe it to others, commonly known as complaining, sometimes blaming.  However, once the moment of pain passes, it’s easy to go back to your regularly scheduled program.

For example, I once coached someone who told me their feelings were off limits and they wanted no part of anything that resembled “psycho-babble”. They wanted movement in their business but were struggling to build a sales team.

I taught them some basic rapport building skills but I knew they would continue to struggle until they addressed the anger and frustration they were feeling towards people on a daily basis. They mentioned being angry a lot and I explained to them how addressing the negative emotions could create more movement for them. Unfortunately, I could not break past the barrier of the ego and they continued to struggle for a long time.

When we are ready, we are ready. When we are not, we just aren’t.

Back to my story. What I remember most about practicing acceptance on a minute by minute basis (yes, it was that often for a while!), was the level of awareness I was beginning to have. I was able to notice my feelings and how they were, indeed, very active in my day to day life. I learned how often I felt resentment, anger, frustration and confusion. And while that was hard to stomach, (literally!), I could at least see the beginnings of having a choice about having them.


What I’d like to offer you today as you read this blog post, is the beginning of awareness. I specialize in helping people move past the experience of being stuck and I believe that being able to accept where you are is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself. When we release the old it makes space in your reality for something new.

If you are one of the lucky people who have a level of awareness and acceptance already, I challenge you to take the next step toward seeing the positive intention of the negative experiences you are still having, or have had in the past.

For those of you who are reading these words and wondering what in the world do feelings have to do with creating your reality, I challenge you to explore the practice section included below.

Let’s play!

I’ve created this practice section to help you increase your level of awareness. So if you are ready to explore acceptance, I invite you to take a few moments to complete the sentences below. It is sometimes helpful to take a deep breath and bring awareness to your body before you begin.

Right now as I read this I feel ________________________.

This feeling is located _______________________ of my body.

I know/don’t know this feeling and I feel it often/not very often.

Can I accept this feeling?

If you’d like information on acceptance, I recommend visiting Doreen’s website: www.doreenbanazsak.com.






Posted in Blog, Creativity, Mind-Body Communication, Relationship Communication